I broke it!

So, for the first time since I started charting my cycles (over a year ago), I have totally confused Fertility Friend.  Let me explain.

+OPK late on CD11, did the IUI on CD12, EWCM was gone by CD13.  Temps took a big dip on CD13 and a jump up on CD14, so we figured that we’d inseminated too early.

I continued to temp and from CD14-17 things were high so I assumed it would give me the crosshairs on CD13, the day of the dip.  NOPE!  It gave me the crosshairs on CD11, the day of the IUI.  Well then, perhaps our timing hadn’t been so bad.  Then on CD 18 my temp took a HUGE drop and FF moved my crosshairs to CD13.  The thing is, it’s a dotted line because it’s confused as to when I ovulated.  Temps say one thing and the OPK and CM say another.  And the only helpful thing FF has to say is “Some of your fertility signs ( OPK ) do not seem to confirm the interpretation.”

If all of this means nothing to you, don’t worry.  What it comes down to is, I ovulated at some point and at some point there was sperm.  Don’t know if the 2 events happened anywhere near one another and right now it doesn’t matter.  I’m either pregnant or I’m not and there’s nothing I can do about it.  We have no real clue how many DPO I am but we’ll be testing on Saturday.  I have no noticeable symptoms and I’m not expecting any.   I’m not fretting about the wait at all and I am looking forward to our next try if this one is a wash.

Special delivery

Nutella returns home from her business trip shortly after I get home from work today. I am thrilled- I missed her dearly. Yay for Friday!

When I went home for lunch this afternoon, there was a package on my doorstep. Is it strange that I am excited about a bunch of speculums?? And I’ve been doing major research on cervixes. Not at work though, that would be bad. Show me a cervix, I dare you, and I can probably tell you where in her cycle the woman’s at. lol. I’m also excited now about the prospect of doing the second IUI at home for our next try. And I say “our next try” because we both pretty much gave up hope on this current one. We just think it was too early according to Nutella’s temperature pattern. We’re at, I don’t know, 6DPO? Not even counting really. I’m more into counting days until the next try, which should be the last weekend in August. Oh sure, there’s a 1% chance it worked this time, but it’s hardly worth hoping for.

I don’t know, I’m feeling pretty zen and excited at the same time. Definitely not my usual during the TWW. Probably a good thing.

Up down down ?!

Nutella’s temperature always goes up after she ovulates (“always” meaning the last few times we’ve charted). We’ve felt confident doing the IUI the day after the positive OPK and seeing her temperature go up and stay up, indicating she’s ovulated.

THIS time though, her temperature went up, but then back down, to below the coverline. This is very disconcerting as now we think we may have done the IUI too early. In other words, this timing thing really sucks.

We are now reassessing our plan. Again. Maybe we’ll do two IUI’s next time in order to ensure a wider window of opportunity. Maybe we’ll even do one at home, something I was sure we’d never try to attempt ourselves.

A while back, I laughed over Amazon displaying “speculums” on my possible “want” list of items. Now…not so funny anymore.

The early egg gets the sperm?

Nutella’s reproductive system did indeed cooperate in terms of ovulating before she leaves for her business trip on Tuesday. In fact, we got two dark OPK lines on Saturday afternoon and did IUI #3 Sunday morning. We prefer weekend inseminations as the whole experience is much more leisurely. We got to the RE at 9am, got the insemination done at 9:45, and stayed in the room til 10:05. Then we went up the street to the most fantastic crepes place and enjoyed a not-so-healthy-but-thoroughly-yummy breakfast.

By the way, the RE did use the last vial of our first donor, Eagle Scout. Eagle Scout, this is your last chance. Will you earn your merit badge, or must we depend on your rival, Big Wheel, to do the job? Only time will tell. Vial #3 had a count of 17 million with a progression between 2 and 3 (out of 4). Good number, but the worst progression of the 3 vials. Still, overall it was a good specimen and we have hope.

– Strawberry

Playing the Ovulation Game

Just checking in….nothing much going on here. It’s CD9 and Nutella is peeing on sticks, just in case it’s not CD9 because of her wacky last cycle. We’re expecting ovulation to occur Monday or Tuesday, which is the very latest it can occur for her to get spermed up before heading across the nation on a business trip.

So, just waiting to see that second OPK line and hoping to enjoy a relaxing weekend.

– Strawberry

I never thought I’d be glad to have cramps

The last few days have been really annoying, confusing, and angry making.  TTC has messed up my body.  Let me explain.

Today is CD1.  Yeah, you read that correctly.  Remember how I started spotting 5 days ago and was expecting CD1 to immediately follow?  Well, it didn’t.  I had 1 day of light spotting, 1 day of bright red spotting, then 1 day of light spotting again.  Then I had a whole day with no spotting or bleeding.  And my temps were way high.  Pregnancy pee sticks were negative.  But everything was very confusing so I went ahead and had the blood test done at the RE yesterday morning.  And the hope crept back in.  Not a lot of hope, but enough so that when they called with the expected negative we were disappointed for the 2nd time in 5 days.  Finally, this morning my temp dropped, I’m bleeding for real, and I have my typical CD1 cramps.

That makes the last cycle 28 days, my longest ever in over 2 years of keeping track.  And the symptoms have been new, too.  The TWW symptoms I’ve had are NOTHING like my PMS symptoms.  On the one hand, it gives me a bit of hope that SOMETHING is happening in there.  But on the other hand, if this happens for a few more cycles i’m going to begin to think that something is happening, just not necessarily a good something.

Right now, we are resolved to begin OPK’s early because I have a feeling that I may O earlier, since this CD1 is so late.  And we don’t want to miss it.  Also, I have a business trip which will take me out of town CD14-16.  I really don’t want to have to skip this cycle because of it.  Do you hear that body?  Cooperate, ok?  Also, this is Eagle Scout’s last shot.   The long profile for his replacement should be in the mail and if we like it we’re ordering his swimmers tomorrow.

Things I did not expect

I did not expect for things to go so slowly and quickly at the same time. I am surprised we’re already looking at our third try next month, while at the same time feeling like we’ve been doing this for a loooong time.

I did not expect for Nutella to get such strong pregnancy symptoms after each IUI and then…not be pregnant. She’s had symptoms she’s never had before that clearly point to “pregnant” but then BFN. It’s strange and confusing, but recently I’ve come to find out she is not alone. Some women have said they had pregnancy symptoms with many failed cycles, and for the one that worked they hardly had any symptoms. So now I’m writing off symptoms- screw you, symptoms, I don’t trust you anymore!

I didn’t expect to become so obessive, excited to see what each new BBT is every morning and practically memorizing charts from Fertility Friend. I didn’t expect to become quite so invested either. Oh sure, I knew I was going to be involved, but not to the Nth degree. It’s surprised me for sure.

We are still hopeful, but my naivetivity has given way to cynicism…or is it realism? Whatever it is, it’s been eye-opening- and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

– Strawberry

At least we had fun at the beach

So, not pregnant.  Spotting started early Sunday morning and period has started for real today. Disappointed but not surprised.  Will pretend that we never heard the request for a pregnancy blood test from the nurse and just call when I’m ready for my next IUI.

We camped at the beach this weekend and the weather was perfect.  Watched a full blood red moon rise over the ocean.  Made pancakes from scratch in the cool of early morning.  Basked in the salty breeze and listened to the waves.  Ate s’mores cooked over an open flame.  Spent time with friends.  Enjoyed a silly movie with popcorn and candy. Overall, it was a wonderful weekend.

At least they called

Well, a nurse from the RE’s office called my cell at 6pm yesterday.

Progesterone was 8.7 which she proclaimed “beautiful” and told me to keep doing whatever I’m doing.  Then she told me to come in a week later for my pregnancy test.  Um, excuse me?  I asked if I had to come in if I had my period and she said yes, if I want to insem next cycle they have to prove I’m not pregnant because didn’t you know people can still bleed if they’re pregnant.

Well, excuse me for having an opinion, but that’s just stupid.  Get up way early, schlep at least 45 min each way in traffic for a 2 minute blood test to tell me something that I already know?  Oh yeah, and pay for it.  I’m going to write the RE to protest and I’m hoping that she’ll be reasonable.  I’ll even volunteer to POAS before my next IUI.  The inconsistency is really starting to get to me.  Last month they didn’t want to test progesterone nor did they require a pregnancy test.

In other news, my temp took a huge plunge today which is 8 or 9 DPO.  Seriously, it’s dropped almost a whole degree to just below coverline.  It’s never done THAT at this point in my cycle.  I know, I know, you’re all thinking “implantation dip”, which would certainly be nice.  However, it looks exactly like the pattern I get the day before my period starts.  Except if that were the case I’d be getting my period 5 days early.  The shortest cycle I’ve had since charting has been 23 days, which would mean my period on Saturday.  Seriously, it’s just a mind f*ck.  But I guess I ought to pack some supplies for our camping trip this weekend.

The Scouts are at it again

Back at work after IUI try #2. This time it was at our normal office which took a half hour to get to even with traffic, which put us there a half hour early. So we walked around a shopping center for a little bit first, and I’m glad we did because we were waiting another half hour before they called us in. Our own doctor did the procedure this time. There was a little speculum pain, but otherwise it went smoothly.

Sperm stats: 20 million in the sample. 55% motility. 3 out of 4 on progression. Not as good as the first vial, but our doctor said it was great so we’ll trust her.

Before leaving the room, the doc suggested Nutella come in for a blood test next week to measure her progesterone levels. I asked if this was standard and she said yes. I asked how much blood was needed and she said ‘a little bit.’ Nutella’s arm is still not 100% over the horrible-no-good-very-bad last blood draw, so she might wait on the progesterone test, which the doc said was fine. We waited in the room for about 15-20 minutes and then left. Nutella had very mild cramping afterwards, but not enough to warrant any medicine.

Nutella and I were re-assessing our plan yesterday and decided that for try #3, we’re going to inseminate on the surge day. We’ve been doing it 24 hours later and feel that it’s *possible* that’s a little too late. The sperm can live up to 12 hours after being thawed, so it wouldn’t be a bad thing if they were already swimming around at the time the egg was released. If it comes down to it, we’ll switch to another donor for further tries (since we only bought 3 vials of the current donor) and do two IUI’s per cycle.

So that’s it. The TWW has begun. Oh, and we found it amusing how there was a copy of Seventeen magazine in the waiting room. Nice touch.