Your mother should know

Falling behind on our own un-challenge! Which is ok, since it’s an un-challenge anyway…

Day 9 – What is the most important lesson you learned from your own mother (or other primary caretaker)?

Strawberry: I guess I would say the most important lesson I learned is to be there….be present. My mom has been with me every step of the way and I knew I could always depend on her being there, and still can. She’s been involved and supportive. She’s been a disciplinarian and a goofball. We all have our faults, but one thing I knew is that I could count on her to be there for me, and I hope I can turn around and do the same thing for my son and let him know he can always come to me, and I will always be there for him.

Day 10 – Share your favorite recipe (or two)

Nutella: That would be my mom’s Buttermilk Pancake recipe… I have it in her handwriting in a small blank book along with a dozen other recipes that she gave me when I went off to college my sophomore year (the first time I had a kitchen).

1 1/4 C flour
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
3 tbsp vegetable oil
1 1/3 C buttermilk or 4 tbsp buttermilk powder and 1 1/3 cups water
1 egg slightly beaten
3 tbsp molasses

Directions: Mix dry ingredients together (incl buttermilk powder if that’s what you’re using). Mix wet together. Add wet to dry and stir well. Using a non-stick pan, brush lightly with oil. Heat over medium. Flip when bubbles rise to the top and burst.

Sometimes I have to adjust the consistency of the batter by adding more water or more flour. This makes a slightly sweet pancake with a distinctive molasses taste.  If you don’t like molasses (like Strawberry, alas!), feel free to swap in pure maple syrup. These are wonderful cold by themselves the next day.  In fact, it’s what I asked my parents to bring to the birthing center when I went into labor.  It was the first food I ate after I gave birth to Curly (after puking my guts out all through labor).

Day 11 – In what ways does being a lesbian/2-mom family impact your experience of parenting?

Of course, we don’t know any differently, but being equally involved in all aspects of parenting (except for a few months of breastfeeding, although during the latter half we did bottles as well) and not having any sort of gender roles to fall into are the biggest differences. We also get a lot of assumptions that Strawberry is the birth mom, when Nutella is, though probably when the 3 of us are out together, many people have no idea. This doesn’t affect our parenting, but does affect how we are perceived and able to feel even more equal.

Day 12 – Tell us about the first time you got drunk (as far as you can remember…)

Nutella: I have a sadly high tolerance for alcohol.  And aside from an inexplicable desire to throw small items (spoonfuls of whipped cream, pretzels at moving cars, M&M’s down people’s cleavage from across the room), I’m not a very fun drunk.  I tend to get morbid and philosophical.  I don’t really remember the first time I got drunk, so it must not have been very memorable.  I have never thrown up or blacked out.

Strawberry: The first time I got drunk was actually on my 22nd birthday. My then-girlfriend at the time and two other friends of ours joined us at a lesbian club…or was it a straight club…I can’t remember. They bought me a shot called a ‘red-headed slut’ (har har). It was gross but I drank it, and then followed it up with a couple other drinks, including Sex on the Beach. Such a newbie. I was definitely drunk and I’m a loud, raucous drunk person. I have absolutely no filter and I have a total blast, but end up paying for it dearly. We stopped for gas and snacks when we left, and I made loud and probably rude comments about the cashier. When we got back to our friend’s place, I lay down on the couch and blacked out for a little while. Eventually I found myself in bed back at my girlfriend’s house. I’m fairly certain I threw up at some point, but definitely into a toilet. Woke up with a pounding headache the next morning. I’ve been that drunk a few more times since, but in the past several years, I’ve learned not to let it get to that point and always stop drinking when I’m tipsy (as well as drink lots of water!)