Scary Halloween Tale

Once upon a time, there were two moms enjoying a peaceful sleep as the sun was just beginning to gently rise in the distance. In the adjacent room was their son, beginning to stir and make his small morning noises. All was serene and pleasant in the household. As their son’s noises began to get a little louder, the women yawned and stretched, slowly getting into the mindset needed to start their day. One of the women leaned over and told the other to relax, that she’d go take care of their son that morning. With another yawn, she lifted herself out of bed, put on her slippers, and made her way to the little boy’s room.

As she pushed open the door, her pulse started to race. She could already tell that something was not right. Heart pounding, she flicked on the light and gasped! There, in the crib, stood her son…

and…

he was…

covered…

IN POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away screaming*

But seriously, Halloween scariness aside, we have been subjected to scenes of mass poop-splosions one (or two or three…) too many times in the recent past. You see, our son likes to put his hand into his diaper. It’s like some kind of obsession. Doesn’t matter if it’s from the side or from the top…he knows there’s goods in there and he wants em. Too many times in the past we’ve put him in two piece pajama sets only to wake up to find him PAINTING HIS CRIB SHEET WITH POO FROM HIS DIAPER *dies*. This is one of those ugly parenting truths you may one day face, so lest you think you’re alone, you’re not. Unfortunately.

It took many times and experiments for us to figure out how to keep this from happening, especially since our boy likes to drop a load first thing in the morning. Yay. We must dress him in a one-piece, zipped footed sleeper over a disposable diaper with a cloth shell over the diaper. That seems to be the only way to both contain the poop and make sure he doesn’t get into his diaper. Footless sleepers? Mr. Houdini somehow manages to push one of the pajama legs up and still get into his diaper. I sincerely hope you all don’t find yourselves needing to do this one day. And for those who have been here…please let us know when this behavior stops. And if you find yourself wanting to answer “Never,” please refrain.

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25 responses to “Scary Halloween Tale

  1. HAHAHA! Awesome.

    I’m sure my time is coming. Feel free to laugh in return when I post a similar story in my blog… 🙂

  2. OMG why did I not know about this?!?! It is TOO LATE to turn back now. It is a good thing Mr. Poopalicious is so cute!

  3. He’s lucky he’s so cute! I could totally see my now 10 month old doing this some day. shudder

  4. Dirty protest at being confined in a crib! Grim!

  5. Wow. I bow to you with serious parenting respect.

  6. I hope it never happens here, but at least now I am prepared!

  7. So not looking forward to that!

  8. wishinghopingpraying

    Our lovely little lady treated us to that joy once. Revolting. I couldn’t stop gagging. I’m sorry you had to go through that. **shivers and has a flashback**

  9. That is one cute mugshot!

  10. Oh my goodness, that’s one that I could never be totally prepared for! I suggest diapers and lots and lots of duct tape! 🙂

  11. Woah….what do I have coming in my life????

  12. Oh my god… I don’t think I can sleep tonight as the idea of this terrifies me!

  13. ugh. the beauty of motherhood….
    😛

  14. Holy crap, pun intended. You guys get gold mama stars… I would want to burn the sheets!

  15. That is truly frightening. Wow. I also hope you save a quick link to this post so you can bring it up immediately to show his friends when he’s in college.

  16. Ba ha ha! That’s funny… and not funny at the same time. I’ve been lucky – so far neither of my kids has done this although Ian may still discover the joy of poop… ick!

    LOVE the picture.

  17. oh. my. goodness. holy poo! My mom has stories of me doing this when I was little, I’m 26 and it has stopped. haha. Did you need a hose to clean him off?!?! Lets hope Ryan never finds his poo….

  18. EEEeeeeew! My mom says I committed the same crime as a child. I’m sure my payback is on it’s way. I just read a similar story on a twin mom blog the other day too so it must be the in thing to do with the under 2 crowd. I think her kids are about 2ish.

    I second the duct tape idea!

    Hope this is the last we see of the little poocasso.

  19. Oh wow. Are baby straight jackets considered inhumane?

  20. o poor poor you two! does a sleep sack help? should I stop encouraging Nina’s interest in zippers? o dear god…

  21. Oh. My. Gawd. That is gross! And yes developmentally appropriate but still, gross. Bet a poop covered toddler was not the image of parenting that made you long to reproduce.

  22. ugh! poor mommies! he is a resourceful child isn’t he 🙂

  23. Ah ha ha! This made me laugh so much. I realize it’s not funny AS it’s happening, but oh the post it makes. You’re brave moms. I can only imagine our time is coming…

  24. My niece had the same lovely habit when she was about 2 years old. My brother and sister-in-law called it a “code brown”.

  25. This is, in fact, the scariest Halloween story ever. 😉 Elliot hasn’t discovered he can do anything to/with his diaper or it’s contents yet… and I am grateful every day that discovery is postponed! I know we’ll be in for it one of these days. Ah, the glamorous life of mothers, huh? 🙂

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