We haven’t forgotten about the questions!
mama deux asked: Do you both want to work, or would one of you rather stay home / take on the stay-at-home mom role? Related to this – what would your ideal job/work situations be like?
We love our lifestyle and are reconciled to working out of the home to sustain it. Neither of us are working in our dream jobs or even our dream fields. If you’d told my 17 year old self what I’d be doing at almost 34, I would have been horrified. Strawberry feels much the same. All of that aside, we like our jobs as much as we can, but we don’t love them. We do our work well, but at the end of the day and on the weekend we leave it behind for the most part.
If we could maintain our lifestyle with one or both of us not working, would we do it? Yes, but neither of us would want to be a full time stay at home mom. I’d love to be home most of the day and then working in my chosen field (it’s theatre) in the evenings. I would still want Curly to be in daycare at least part time, because I think he really benefits from the social interaction and the structure he gets there. Yet, even if I could work that sort of schedule, it would put a real strain on my marriage if Strawberry were still working a 9-5. If she were working her dream job of travel writer/ critic, then we could probably work something out.
There are definitely things about our current schedule that I would change slightly if I could. I’d much rather spend more hours with Curly while he’s awake and maybe spend some of the hours he’s sleeping doing work. Sadly, that doesn’t really work with my career. It might be a possibility for Strawberry, if she were to change employers or freelance, but that would come with additional concerns. We’ve done well at maximizing our time at home with short commutes, and cherish our mornings and evenings with Curly. And we never take the weekend for granted.
Oh, and Mama Deux? If your baby was waiting until we answered, you should be good to go now 🙂
This is such a good perspective to have. As Speedy & I contemplate the imminent shifts in schedules… and balancing daycare needs with working, and reconciling the jobs we sorta don’t like with living the life we love, it is useful to keep these issues in perspective. Working and living and family are definitely not either/or propositions, as much as it feels like it at times.
Ah! Don’t encourage him! I have to finish some things! Lol.
You guys really do have such a balanced outlook on all this. It’s something we think about constantly – “career advancing” jobs (or degrees) vs. ones that make more sense for our family. I hope they’re not mutually exclusive, but compromises must be made. Here’s hoping we arrive at a happy medium (and a livable wage!) Not that it’s constant conflict or anything. It’s more about possibilities. I’ve contemplated a PhD, for instance, but that doesn’t really make sense for us — esp. b/c it leads to academic job-hunting and a nomadic lifestyle for a long while.
I’m definitely looking forward to the socialization with other kids aspect of daycare for my babies. Especially with twins- I don’t want them to be little weirdos who only socialize with each other.