Nightmare becomes phobia?

It’s no secret that I’m needle phobic.  I’m 1000% better than I used to be.  I can psyche myself up for shots and behave reasonably well.  I’ve developed coping techniques (visualization, meditation, deep breathing, chocolate) over the years.  This is far less effective with blood draws and IV’s.  Along this line, I cannot watch anything involving needles without feeling like I’m going to faint.  I do not watch the actual shot when Curly gets one.  I was hospitalized for the first 10 days of my life with who knows how many needle sticks in that stay, so I think there’s a fairly clear-cut cause for my phobia.  It’s completely illogical to assume that Curly will share it.

And yet.. since his MMR vaccine on Tuesday, Curly has developed a new and unwelcome habit.  In the dead of night, without any provocation or disturbance, he screams at the top of his lungs and burst into tears.  He is easily soothed with a quick cuddle and when placed back in the crib he falls asleep again.  Since he’s calmed easily we can rule out night terrors.  It would seem that it’s either a nightmare or something physical.  The injection site is not swollen or red, it doesn’t bother him during the day, he’s not feverish, and he doesn’t seem to be teething at the moment.

I’d certainly be happier with him NOT waking up crying in the middle of the night.  Ooh, boy does this confluence of events trigger some bad mommy/ mama bear instincts.  I want to protect him and keep him safe. To me, shots and blood draws and the like are irrationally horrible.  He’s due for 2 more shots in 6 weeks and we are supposed to get a blood draw for a lead test anytime now.  And I am FREAKING OUT about it.

12 responses to “Nightmare becomes phobia?

  1. Next in Line

    Those mama bear instincts are strong. I remember when Ziya was in the hospital. I felt my claws come out and I am sure I started nashing my teeth.

    I have a lot of fears about medical procedures, but not shots or blood tests. As someone that doesn’t have a lot of fear about them, I would say they are not too bad. I wouldn’t sign Ziya up for any unnecessary shots, but I know it will hurt for a minute and be done. I am guessing it will be similar for Miles.

    You are a fantastic Mama! It is just freaking hard to see them hurt even a little. We are biologically designed to protect them.

  2. I know its so hard to see them go through something painful. When our bean was sick, our doctor said she knew I wished I could be sick instead and I burst into tears because it was so true. Its really, really hard, but hang in there mama.

    I’m guessing the night waking is unrelated to the shot, but I know how you always wonder. I hope he’s able to start sleeping peacefully again soon.

  3. Totally get the instinct to protect your baby at all costs, I think our boys entry into this world and NICU stay following has honestly traumatized me.

    I hate giving them shots and won’t do more than one at a time even if it takes forever to get them all. I have to say the blood draw for their one year check-up was the easiest of all. I was stressing out about it too, I thought they had to do it the way we do ours (in the arm, vein, etc.) but for babies its just a finger prick. Didn’t even phase them. They were more concerned with what she was doing (collecting the blood on some type of film strip) and forgot all about the prick on their fingers.

    As for the night waking, the little guy (who has always been a rockstar sleeper) did the same thing for a few days. Woke up like he was scared of having been left alone in his room. We would rock him for a few minutes and he’d go right back down. Just when I was about to make an appt. to have him seen by our pediatrician, he stopped…and now hes back to sleeping like a rock!

  4. By the way, the night waking started about 2 months prior to the MMR, so I don’t think its related.

  5. Just wanted to send sympathies from a fellow needlephobe. Hugs to you xxx

  6. Poor Miles. Emmett is going through the same thing right now so we can all sympathize. We put off Emmett’s one year shots because of an ear infection so we know it isn’t related to the shots. Over the last few weeks, whenever he wakes up alone in the dark, his cry has been desperate and pained. It breaks my heart hearing it. Our theory is this is a new response to waking up alone and in the dark. I hope Miles’s nighttime waking gets better soon.

  7. my girl cries like that in the night too – i wonder what is going on in their little heads.

    and i hear you on the needles – esp as they relate to innocent baby legs. we have our 6 month shots today and i am dreading it.

  8. Poorest Miles! It’s sooo hard not knowing what’s wrong or what you can do to help. Glad the cuddle time works though! I hope this passes quickly and everyone is getting a good nights sleep soon!

  9. I have put many, many IV’s into babies/children/adults and I am never ceased to amaze at how well children handle the procedure vs parents. And rightfully so. For everything that I know, that goes out the window for my kid.

  10. poor little guy 😦 needles… wish us luck tomorrow at kaydens 6 month check up.

  11. Next in Line

    Can you send me your password again? I forgot. Thanks!

  12. Pingback: More shots?? « 1 In Vermillion

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