Stand up, baby, stand up

It’s been all crawling (preferably with a toy in his mouth, we’re not sure where he learned it because even our dog rarely does it) and pulling up to standing around here (the short video below demonstrates these). Standing is easily Curly’s greatest joy these days…he always looks so pleased with himself when he does it, and has been pulling up on the coffee table, the couch, the entertainment unit, the pack n’ play…whatever he can. He’s so close to cruising as well, especially when the dog is a little bit out of his reach on the couch. He’s certainly keeping us on our toes.

Daycare starts this week, but a short trial period. He’ll go for an hour tomorrow, and then 9-noon on Thursday. If all goes well, he’ll begin full time on Monday, with another half day on Tuesday because of a well-baby appointment. When he was 6 months old, the pediatrician told us to make his next appointment prior to 9 months if he was still having trouble staying awake more than 1-2 hours between naps. At 7 months, he was still having the same trouble so we made the appointment a month earlier. Now at nearly 8 months, he’s finally able to stay awake 2-4 hours between naps (typically 2-3 hours). But the appointment is already set and since we need the doctor to sign some immunization forms for daycare, it all works out.

The daycare provider told us to write down what his schedule has been like while at home and any other details she might need to know. I feel like I could fill a small book with details and quirks about our son. Like how he prefers to take a bottle while sitting on your lap facing outwards, and having your hands on either side of his face keeps him from turning his head back and forth to look at things constantly. Like how he will practically be falling asleep doing whatever he’s doing and the second you put him in the crib, he’ll start standing and talking like he’s a one-man act before he finally takes a nap. Like how carrying him around on your hip usually soothes him, but trying to cuddle him while you’re sitting hardly ever works. But these and many others are things she and her assistant are going to have to learn. I just need to keep reminding myself that they’ve been at this for years and years, and they’ve most likely seen it all.

And now for a little Curly…

Happy holidays!

We’d like to wish you all happy holidays, whichever you celebrate (or happy day(s) off work). May you find warmth and peace during this season.

Curly would also like to share the utter joy he feels when bundled up against the cold weather, and his pleasure at seeing so much beautiful brown white snow still around.

Can we move to Florida yet?

Beaver.

Quiz time!

What do you get when you add this:

to this:

Give yourself a pat on the back if you said THIS:

And that, my friends, is why we went out and bought a gummy rail guard. A little late however!

Curly would now like to share with you the joy he feels while standing, and how (at the end) he prefers to accept objects while practicing said task.

In sickness and in health

Illness struck our household this weekend, but seems to have moved on now. Sorry for the TMI, but Curly started having diarrhea every other diaper on Thursday afternoon (but no fever). Then during the wee hours of Friday, Strawberry began puking on and off for the next 12 hours, and fighting off a fever which landed her in bed all day on Friday. I had to work from home while taking care of a sick wife and baby, a baby who then had bad diapers every 2 hours and a low grade fever. This was with one of the biggest snowstorms in memory looming for the next day. I called the pediatrician who advised me to keep rehydrating Curly with pedi@lyte (we thankfully had a stock of it) and pay attention for signs of dehydration, including listlessness and no pee diapers, at which point we should head to the ER.

Luckily, Curly sucked down pedi@lyte like it was candy and didn’t give us cause to worry about having to go to the hospital. He did, however, reduce the amount of ounces he was taking in his bottles. Prior to his illness he would drink up to 30 ounces of formula a day. While he was sick, we were lucky if he drank 22. We are very lucky that he is such a big healthy kid, and we didn’t have to worry about this drop in calories for a few days. Fast forward to Saturday, when Strawberry is on the mend (leading us to believe that this illness was a stomach bug or at worst, rotavirus contracted from visiting daycares) and could lend a hand with Curly, whose bad diapers returned to every other one.  The snow fell fast all day, leaving us with about 17 inches.

Sunday was a day of recuperation. With Strawberry feeling much better, we both enjoyed the snow and then shovelled our cars out, with help from some very generous neighbors. Curly seemed to be doing better, however, he still refused to drink his full bottle amounts and acted in pain after drinking 3 or 4 ounces. Time to use Dr. Goo/gle. Apparently, after a bout with a gastrointestinal illness, many infants develop a temporary lactose intolerance until they have time to build up the enzyme that breaks it down again. So out I went to buy a lactose-free formula which, considering we’ve done the last 3 feedings without any problems, seems to have done the trick. We’ll switch him back by the week’s end and see how he does.

I feel like I dodged a bullet with this illness. It was awful taking care of a sick wife and baby. Although I was healthy for the most part, I did have a little solo pity party on Friday night when I lit the last Chanukkah candles by myself. Oh, and I’m recovering from a badly bruised tailbone I got when I fell down the last 5 stairs earlier in the week.

Today, things are better. So far, Curly is back to drinking normal amounts. Strawberry has a snow day off work and I’m working from home again, so as to avoid the roads, which are still rather bad. If we’re all feeling up to it later on, perhaps we’ll venture out for some fun in the snow.

Happy solstice, everyone!

Chanukah photo essay

Curly has been getting into the Chanukah spirit here at chez Vermillion…

Ooh, fire!

Gimme

For me? You shouldn't have.

Thanks, I've been looking for ways to add more fiber to my diet.

omgwtfbbq?!

Yo, moms, wassup?

Relief Meet Anxiety

We found a daycare.

We are so very relieved at this. It was the 4th home daycare we interviewed, having called a total of 14 places and interviewed 1 of 2 nannies we made contact with (the nanny was good, but more expensive and we preferred a home daycare anyway). When we arrived at the daycare yesterday, we met all (or nearly all) of the children there, including a 6 month old girl, 1 year old boy, a toddler boy and 2 toddler girls. They all seemed happy and active. There was a sunken living room area for them to play in, lots of toys and books around. The house was clean and babyproofed. Each baby had their own crib to sleep in next door to the living room. The woman whose house it was has two teenaged daughters, both of whom we met, and are lovely and also help out with the kids from time to time after school. But there is also another full-time staff person who was just leaving as we arrived.

Curly crawled around, inspecting the toys and books, and watching the other children. The woman kept remarking on how cute and good he was (not one of our reasons for going with this place lol). She exuded a warm feeling and was very sweet with the kids, and cuddly with the 6 month old. She allows drop-ins and made every effort to make us feel comfortable and welcome. We knew it was the place we wanted almost immediately. She also requires that each new child begins with a “trial” period, starting off with an hour or two at a time, moving to a half day, and then to a full day. Since I get a lot of time off for the winter holidays, this works out perfectly.

Now the hard parts… I am feeling anxious about him starting daycare, like most parents are. I know it will be good for him and am so relieved at having found a good, stable situation. It’s just going to be a huge change. He won’t be able to take his 3 naps in peace & quiet during the day…the kids usually take one long afternoon nap at this place. Knowing what a mess Curly turns into when he’s tired (and that’s still pretty often), I’m worried about how it will be for him and hope that he’s able to change his schedule in the way that’s needed. As the daycare provider said, usually the kids are tired at the time of pick-up and want to nap when they get home. That means seeing even less of him than we already do. I worry about him getting sick, which he definitely will now that he’ll be around many other kids. He’s only been mildly sick once or twice in his 7 months, so I’m imagining him coming down will all sorts of bugs now.

Finally, there’s the grandma situation. We’ll be paying for daycare 5 days a week. Curly will need time to get used to the new schedule and the new place. This won’t work if he is watched by one grandma at our place one day, then goes to daycare a few days, then is watched by the other grandma another day, then weekends with us. So this has to stop to allow Curly to adjust as quickly as he can or he will constantly be backpeddling and out-of-whack. With Curly at daycare, needing naps when we pick him up, and the mommies no longer working from home once a week while watching him, we’re going to be missing him like CRAZY. We’re going to want to spend our weekends focusing on him as much as possible. And the grandmas (and grandpas) will be missing him, too, but will have to understand when we need our time together as a family of 3. It’s going to be a huge adjustment for everyone.

So anyway, that’s where we stand. Relieved, anxious, satisfied, empty, happy, sad….such is parenthood.

Mama’s gotta let go

I started a post on egalitarianism in parenting and I hated it. Perhaps we’ll revisit that some other time.

I’m an actress.  Have I mentioned that here?  Well I am.  Musical theatre is my thing.  I have a degree in it even.  As degrees go, it’s pretty useless and I’ll be paying off the loans I took to get it until Curly himself is in college, but still.  Our city has a thriving professional, semi professional, and amateur theatre scene.  I was part of it once.  We went to shows all the time. The last show I did ended in March of 2008.  I willingly chose to give up on performing for a while to become a mother.  Theatre isn’t going anywhere, I told myself.  The roles I can play will change, but there will always be shows to do.  Motherhood, on the other hand, seemed like a limited time offer.  But at the same time that a part of me is fulfilled, another part of me is empty.

I listen to showtunes in the car and I sing my heart out.  I watch Glee and silly movie musicals.  I stalk the F@cebook updates of my theatre friends, trying to stay in the loop of who’s playing what and where.  We went to a show a few weeks ago and had the grandparents watch Curly. But more and more I feel like an outsider.  Performing is so much a part of who I am.  But there just isn’t room for it in my life right now.  So I have to tend that ember, let it smolder, not allow it to go out or burst into flame.

I’m not ungrateful.  I am lucky and I appreciate that every single day.  I wouldn’t miss the time I have with Curly for the world.  Perhaps, if performing were my livelihood (nice work, if you can get it!) I think it would be different.  I’d have time with him outside of rehearsals and performances.  But in addition to working a 9-5?  It’s just not worth it to me to do shows now.  But when a certain song comes on?  Or when a friend posts about a great part they’ve got?  Or when the kids on the TV sing and dance and come together?  Whew, I miss it.

Snow baby

This white stuff looked better from the inside

Seriously? What kind of mothers are you?

The “D” Word

You might have guessed that we would come to this point…the point where we’re looking at other Daycare options. Now that winter weather is upon us (first chance of snow this weekend, we’ll see!), since the grandmas’ commutes are so long, and since Curly has become very mobile, thus reducing how productive Nutella or I can be when “working” from home, we need to find a more full-time, close-by situation. We also find it important now that he’s a bit older that he have interaction with other babies and children, and a routine schedule throughout the week.

We began interviewing home daycares this week. Since we were not sold by any of them, the search continues. Here’s a summary for the first 3:

#1 – Nice, chatty 50-something woman and a 20-something assistant watching up to 7 kids, most of which were there. Almost all of the people in the house were related in some way. In my un-PC manner, I’m going to say it was white trash city. The older woman was grandmother to the 18 month old (whose 20-something father was in and out of the house), and mother to a 6 year old girl. The 6 year old boy belonged to the assistant. In the living room were 21 and 27 year old sons of the older woman, just lounging on the couch. The contractor father of the brood showed up caked in mud and reciting the mental list of groceries he was leaving to pick up. Also present was a 7 month girl whose mom picked her up while we were there, a one year old boy waiting to get picked up, and a 14 year old girl who sadly was dealing with fetal alcohol syndrome and thus, had the mental capacity of a 3 year old. The tv was on the entire time and the house was dirty. But the best part? She asked us “Who is the mother?” and I replied “We both are, we’re a lesbian couple.” She was taken aback and said “OH! We don’t say THAT word. You’re a ‘female’ couple…we have a couple of those on our block.” She went on to say, “I take it neither of you is married.” I said, “We’re married to each other.” She said, “Well, I would still give you the single mom discount, waiving the $40 application fee and daily meal fee.” OY!

#2 – Another nice, chatty 50-something woman with a clean, organized house. She never watches more than 4 children, 2 of them are her 3 month and 2 year old grandchildren. I told her we were a two-mom family and she didn’t bat an eye. She had some great answers for our questions and we got a good feeling from her, except that she doesn’t typically allow “drop-ins.” I read online that if a care provider doesn’t allow drop-ins, it’s a red flag. I asked her why not, and she said it’s not usually good for the child. I said that if it would leave Curly in tears, then we wouldn’t do it anymore, but I don’t think she was sold on the idea. (It’s not like we want to drop in often either, I was just checking her answer to that question) Also, her house was not at all childproof. She had ceramic figurines displayed very low, just waiting to be knocked over. When I mentioned it, she said they’ve survived all the children she’s watched. She teaches them not to touch. It just left me wondering…

#3 – A 30-something single mom who later told us she’s not the one who typically watches the children…the other staff person who was not present does. They’re licensed for 7 children and only one person typically watches them? Three children were there- a one-year old was just getting picked up, a 19 month old was finishing his first day, and the woman’s 7 year old daughter was standing by. The play areas were great…fully loaded with toys, games and other activities. The tv wasn’t on and she said they only watch children’s educational programs here and there. The catch (if we were truly interested)? They won’t have an opening until the Spring.

So, 3 strikes so far. Next up, we ‘re hoping to call more home daycares and schedule interviews with nannies, with the possibility of starting a nanny share with a friend of a neighbor who is losing her provider come January.