I began staying home from work to take care of you 11 weeks ago. You were 2 months, 3 weeks old. It was a bit daunting trying to go places with you alone. You got tired very easily, and didn’t like the carseat for more than a short while. I got antsy at your first signs of getting fussy because I was afraid of meltdowns in public. But I was determined to show you new places and people and things. At that point, we mostly went on walks and out to lunch with people we knew- it was just easier. As time went on, we broadened our horizons. As you got more used to being in the car, we ventured further from home. As you began staying awake for longer periods of time while we were out and about, or you were able to fall asleep in your carrier or stroller, we were able to stay out and enjoy our surroundings.
In these 11 weeks, I have come to know you extremely well. You are observant, demanding, adorable, curious, and restless. Like most people, you have your good days and your bad. You are usually very clear with your cues, and expect them to be read immediately. You like your routines, but won’t have a schedule imposed on you. You have gone from a kicky, flaily baby that stays in place to a 5 month old mobile little boy who rolls across the floor, grabs whatever he can get his hands on and seems so frustrated that he can’t yet crawl.
My favorite moments have been arriving home from a couple hours out, and when I would take out of your carseat, you’d let your heavy head drop on my shoulder. I would carry you, all soft and cuddly to your room, where I’d give you a bottle and then lay you down for a nap. So simple, and yet so precious. I hope to hang on to the feeling of your little body hugged to mine forever. You used to wake up from those naps with a loud cry in the beginning, but now you simply begin talking to yourself or calling out to get my attention, and when I arrive to your crib, you greet me with a big open-mouthed smile. That will never get old.
It is with mixed feelings that I return to work next week. While I look forward to being back in the adult world with my own time and distractions, I know my heart will hurt with the thought of you back at home without your Eemah and I. But I want you to know that I consider those weeks with you to be invaluable, and I did my best to show you as many beautiful, interesting, and varied things as I possibly could.
I love you so much,