Living and Learning

Last night we had a semi-good night. Prior to last night, our nights have been filled with inconsolable scream-crying that began anywhere between 8pm to 11pm and lasted until 4 in the morning. To deal with it, we took 2 hour shifts so the other one could get some shut-eye. But that meant, one person was dealing with a screaming baby for 2 hours all alone and this led to much sorrow and desperation. During the day, Curly is an angel…with periods of sound sleep and sweet alertness, but when the sun starts to set, the dread of another long night sets in.

Last night, we decided that his superlong feeding in the evening was leading to gas and an upset stomach, which in turn, led to a crying baby. We hope to put a stop to that from now on by limiting how much solid time he can spend on the boob in the evenings. In the day time, 10-20 minutes seems to suffice, but in the evenings, he loses his ability to self-regulate and wants to go for at least an hour. Nutella’s milk supply is abundant and he’s not yet been able to “drain” a breast so he keeps eating and eating and eating.

Last night, Nutella was up with him until 2am, although he fell asleep on her chest at midnight. She fed him at 2am and then he slept til 5am in the bassinet for the first time (prior to this, it was either on us or in the carseat). Another feed and diaper change at 5am, and he slept til 8am. If this type of pattern continues and gets better, we can definitely deal with it.

Nutella is also having some breastfeeding issues having to do with Curly’s latch and a very fast letdown. Even after trying several tips we’ve read, including expression before feeding and several ways to improve his latch, things are still very difficult and painful. We are seeking the help of a lactation consultant who will hopefully make a visit tomorrow.

Sorry things aren’t all hearts and flowers over here. We are still trying to get the hang of things and this is our reality right now. Looking forward to some time soon when everything smooths out and these days are simply a memory.

One of the few ways he’ll sleep

Wet baby butt

20 responses to “Living and Learning

  1. Ladies – it sounds like an exhausting time for everyone. I do hope that things continue to improve with his sleep cycle, and that the lactation consultant is helpful.

    Thinking of you!

  2. You may want to try probiotics for the gas… my daughter had the same night time issues, so we bottle fed her once a day with a dose of probiotics to aid in digestion and it worked wonders.

  3. he is delicious! those early nights are a big exhausting blur. it gets better.

  4. New babies are sometimes confused between night and day. It takes awhile to get them in a rhythm. I learned recently that it’s important to keep the light off when I wake up in the night….so my body does not think it’s day time making it more difficult to fall asleep.

  5. Those first few days can be HARD!!! Just keep trying to take care of yourselves. Sending lots of good sleep vibes to you!
    And I think meeting with an LC will help. I’ve met with a few of them and it has been a good resource!

  6. Don’t apologize for being honest. The beginning is super hard for most people and for those of us still pining away for our babies–the reality check is a good thing. It’s too easy to fantasize how amazing life with a new baby will be.

    hugs and hang in there–dinner is coming soon!

  7. I haven’t had the chance to congratulate you guys on Miles arrival yet due to the move. I am so happy for you two! I am sorry the birth plan didn’t go quite as planned but everyone is healthy and in the end that is all that matters. I hope the evenings continue to get a little better. Miles is precious!

  8. I’m sure that these first few days are taking their toll on the new mommies. Hopefully Miles will find some comfort at night and sleep so his mommies can sleep!

  9. from this side of your blog, those pictures are worth all the hearts and flowers in the world! he is so adorable!!

  10. okseriouslyreally

    I want to thank you for sharing your experiences so honestly. It is obvious that you are totally in love with your son but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a great deal of struggle in the early days. It sounds like you two are doing just great and figuring things out day by day. Miles is a lucky little guy! Hang in there, ladies.


  11. he’s such a cutie! those first several days are tough for everyone, but soon they’ll be nothing more than a memory and it’ll be way more fun, promise!

  12. Struggling over here too. Man it’s rough. And breastfeeding is so hard.

  13. wishinghopingpraying

    I’m so sorry things are tough. I hope the lactation consult helps. Big hugs to the mommies and sleepy vibes to the little one.

  14. One thing I’ve always admired about you two is your honesty. I’m sorry it’s so tough at the moment, both for you and for Miles, but parenthood is one STEEP learning curve, even when you have done as much preparation as you girls (I’m speaking vicariously, rather than through personal experience, but I’m pretty sure I’m right!). I don’t have any useful tips or advice for you, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you all and hoping that things get a little easier before too long.

  15. Honestly? It gets so much better. Those early days are HARD, but they soon blur and fade. hang in there. I was reading something about fast let down the other day (IVP boards possibly?) and someone suggested feeding baby whilst lying flat on your back – lets gravity hold it back a little. Sounded like it might work?

  16. He is just. so. precious. Hopefully the three of you will get into a routine that will work for everyone.

  17. I think the idea of “draining” a breast is a total myth. As long as they suck, there will be milk.

    I also have an over abundant supply and very fast let down. I’m not a professional, but I can tell you that when MW was small, he would literally gag on my milk because it was chugging out so fast. I used to just pop him off after a few suckles and the milk would just be jetting out and I’d just let is rush out until it stopped, then nurse him. It seemed to work for us.

    And, kudos to you for seeing a LC. They are the best. Good luck!

  18. oh hearts and roses are overrated. I think it is wonderful you are being so honest. I hope the LC is really helpful and that he is better at sleeping soon. I love his little baby butt by the way.

  19. Thanks for the realistic, no sugar coated post! Newborns are not easy but it looks like you guys may be figuring out the problems one by one! I hope the lactation consultant helps! Miles is still one cute cute pumpkin!!!!! Good Luck ladies!!

  20. reproducinggenius

    Honestly, in this community, hearts and flowers would be totally inappropriate. You need a space to talk about the realities of life with your newborn, and giving it all a rosey tint would do you no good. Frankly, I think it helps when people share the realities of life with a newborn. Mostly though, it sounds like you ladies are doing an amazing job and that you’re making your way through it. Thanks for keeping us posted! xoxo

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