Telling people (or not)

It’s a very touchy subject, telling people you’re pregnant. Everyone has their own thoughts on the matter- some people tell everyone right away, some people don’t tell until after the first trimester, and I think most people fall somewhere in between (though I could be wrong). We’ve already told our parents…we told them when we saw the positive, warning them not to get too excited (yeah, right). Shortly thereafter, we told our sisters (we each have one). As for the blog, we announced it when we got the positive blood test. After that, it was a guessing game as to whom that we know in real life reads our blog.

Most of our friends who read the news on the blog we knew about. There were maybe one or two surprises, but certainly not shocking ones. After we went to our first appointment, when we saw the gest. sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole, we told Nutella’s grandparents. I admit, I’m closer to them than my own and we really wanted to tell them together in person. Then the news-telling came to a screeching halt.

We are most likely measuring at 6 weeks, 5 days today…depending on how the little overachiever is doing now. When I think about that, I think wow, that’s early. Certainly it’s not smart to keep divulging to people at this point…right? When I research, “they” say that when you are able to see a gestational sac, a yolk sac, and a fetal pole, you’re good to go. Got a heartbeat? Even better. At that point, you’ve got something like a 95% chance of everything being fine. As of our last appointment, that’s where we stand.

However, there has been some heart-wrenching and frightening news in our TTC blog world recently that made us catch our breath. Horrible things happening, sometimes beyond when they’re “supposed” to, and our hearts ache for these people. And it makes us wary.

So far when asked point-blank, we’ve just been saying “we’re working on it”, but that leads to scrutinizing looks. We’re planning on telling more people (friends and relatives) after our next appointment if everything still looks ok. We should have a measurable heartbeat, a Sprinkle that looks more like a blob than a pole, and everything should have grown a bit bigger. The appointment is around our 7 week, 3 day mark. But wow…that’s still early. Sigh.

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9 responses to “Telling people (or not)

  1. If I have learned one thing in this process, it is that you have to try your darndest not to let what happens to other people effect how you react. Is that actually possible?? I haven’t met anyone yet that could actually do it, but it is worth a try. You need to celebrate this pregnancy. Which I know you already know, but sometimes it helps to hear it from others.

    love and hugs

  2. I’m trying to wait at least until eight weeks. Our immediate family members know and we’ve each told a few people at work and a few friends. But we wanted to wait before telling everyone else. It’s hard though. I almost told my supervisor today. I’ve just decided that I’ll play it by ear. If I decided tomorrow is the best day to tell my supervisor or someone else, so be it.

    You just have to do what’s right for you when it’s right for you.

  3. i second heidi with the negative affects of worry. sometimes, i don’t read into stuff because you will always find a horror story. always!

    but then i haven’t told many people for that very reason. i would hate for something to happen and me having to un-tell people, which would just be a pain.

    as for now, i haven’t really told much of anyone, although some people that have been told have screamed it from the roof tops even after i’ve told them to keep it to themselves.

    i say keep to yourself when it comes to people outside of the family. some people will just be sooo excited for you that they can’t hold water and will want to tell everyone they know. until you are comfortable with everyone knowing, keep it in the family. that comfortable with everyone knowing varies from person to person. it could be at the positive or at the 12 weeks or at the birth… haha!

  4. wishinghopingpraying

    S and I used to joke that we would just show up with a baby one day, never having said a word. When you are ready you will tell the others. For now, just know we are all rooting for the Sprinkle and for you both.

  5. Hi Nutella and Strawberry. Just a word of support. Your baby IS off to a wonderful start, and when you both think it’s time to tell more people you will. I hope you both have a wonderful and calm Wednesday. -Monica

  6. I’ve wrestled with this one too. It made me sad that, because of the IVF, people at work knew before people I loved. I was torn between telling and keeping quiet. In the end, we kind of opted to tell those who we knew would be vital support should things go wrong. For others, we waited. We’re still waiting, even though it feels safer to tell now. It’s nice to have the secret for a while longer.

  7. We started telling people at 6 weeks, but I felt a pull of regret every single time we did it. I all-out panicked for the next 5 weeks, not relaxing much at all until we saw a normal-sized gestational sac (it was small before then) at an 11-week ultrasound. Now I’m telling people with ease, but I still read about at least 1 further-along-than-we-are miscarriage/stillbirth in the blogosphere once/week. I don’t think you ever feel totally comfortable until (maybe?) after the baby’s born.

  8. originally we wanted to wait till 12 weeks except for a few close friends and family. In the end we couldn’t bear it. We spilled the beans at 9 weeks after it was confirmed by our midwife that if you see and hear a heartbeat – it is a good indication that it is a viable pregnancy that will last beyond 12 weeks.

  9. You are right it is early. An early little sprinkle that wants to grow inside of you. I think that if you both are content in telling people whenever you want, then tell them. No matter what happens with other situations, this is YOURS. Don’t let that get away from you. You are pregnantb -celebrate it with whoever whenever whyever you want.

    I’m sure that no matter what anyone tells you, the thought of this whole thing going wrong will linger in the back of your mind, and that is okay. That is being realistic which is also very important. I say do what you feel is right.

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