Things I did not expect

I did not expect for things to go so slowly and quickly at the same time. I am surprised we’re already looking at our third try next month, while at the same time feeling like we’ve been doing this for a loooong time.

I did not expect for Nutella to get such strong pregnancy symptoms after each IUI and then…not be pregnant. She’s had symptoms she’s never had before that clearly point to “pregnant” but then BFN. It’s strange and confusing, but recently I’ve come to find out she is not alone. Some women have said they had pregnancy symptoms with many failed cycles, and for the one that worked they hardly had any symptoms. So now I’m writing off symptoms- screw you, symptoms, I don’t trust you anymore!

I didn’t expect to become so obessive, excited to see what each new BBT is every morning and practically memorizing charts from Fertility Friend. I didn’t expect to become quite so invested either. Oh sure, I knew I was going to be involved, but not to the Nth degree. It’s surprised me for sure.

We are still hopeful, but my naivetivity has given way to cynicism…or is it realism? Whatever it is, it’s been eye-opening- and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

– Strawberry

15 responses to “Things I did not expect

  1. I had that same feeling too (and still do) – that we’ve been at it forever and yet time’s going quickly. It feels at once never-ending and then like the blink of an eye. I still feel like we’re newcomers and it’s hard to believe we just did try #8. That’s the thing about this process – it’s all the same until it’s not. You never know when it’s going to happen. I hope you don’t have to wait too long.

  2. tempting past ovulation peak has been known to drive women mad. i would most highly suggest stepping away from the themometer after you know you ovulated.

    the symptoms drive you crazy – it’s almost like some type of placebo effect. the brain is a powerful thing.

    remain hopeful! you will get your babes.

  3. damn symptoms! so sorry!

  4. wishinghopingpraying

    I am really sorry. Symptoms suck! We had to stop temping, it was just too much for my poor heart to take every morning. I hope the next cycle is your winning one.

  5. symptoms suck – I am so with you on this!

    I know well the feeling of fast yet slow – no matter how much research and preparation you do, nothing can prepare you for the ups and downs of ttc and it’s still surprising to me how unprepared I was for this after waiting for so long lol

    (we’re in the tww for our 5th IUI)

  6. Ugh. Symptoms DO suck. (I am having some right now and am definitely NOT pregnant… wtf body?)

    I know how hard it is not to obsess over things like this, and I hope your “reality check” (or is it a cynicism check?) will help you sit back from it a little.

    Hmmm…. now what can we think of that will help distract our dear Strawberry and Nutella? 😀

  7. yeah..the symptoms shocked the hell out of me every time and I always vow not to “fall for them” again, but haven’t managed to succeed.

  8. Thanks, everyone. It’s so nice to have your support. The temping hasn’t been making us crazy really…except for some strangeness very recently, but whatever. We tend to take them with a grain of salt so we’ll still temp after O.

    Tui- Hello, Kiwis and welcome! We’ll make sure to keep up with you two.

    Mel- Oh, we’ve been thinking (and doing) plenty teehee.

  9. I can really relate. We went in for our third cycle of IUIs this month and I was laying there wondering how incredible it is that we’re at this point already – our third try – when it seems we only got the ball rolling a short time ago.

    As for symptoms, I’m throwing them all out the door too. The doc told me today that from the bloodwork last time (I haven’t seen him since), it looks like I was either pregnant or still had some LH from the trigger shot in my system. So, if I was pregnant, maybe my symptoms last time were real. But, there’s no way to know for sure. Too much second-guessing involved. I give up on the symptoms watch!

  10. ciaochow- I hear ya. It’s like, even if these are chemical pregnancies, do we even want to know? (unless something is really wrong) I’m discounting everything until I see that positive line.

  11. Oh those symtpoms…I did finally give up on them and stopped talking about them. S stopped asking about them….and the cycle that we got our BFP we had both discounted the symptoms, that were in fact pregnancy symptoms. You just never, ever know.

  12. I hate the symptoms too. I figure I feel them just because I am paying attention to my body in a way I never had before. But I hate how they make me feel so very unsure of my body after each failed attempt. Next cycle I am going to try to not pay any attention to them… lets see how that works. hee, hee.

  13. The symptoms that fail to lead to a pregnancy when you are so certain they must….suck. It’s true. I try not to think/talk too much about them.
    It’s funny how this time passes, so slowly and then quickly all at once.

  14. can be soo obsessive! May your positive come soon. And I’m with you on the symptoms…screw it!

  15. the most ironic part of symptoms is that really pregnancy symptoms and pms symptoms are virtually identical. I think as part of ttc we just become so hypersensitive to them that we think we are experiencing them for the first time whereas we’ve really gotten them most months. Regardless, good luck with number 3.

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