In the past week we have:
- Gotten haircuts. (I’m sure this has no impact upon the baby making process, but at least it got done)
- Hosted a lesbian baby shower at which there were 2 babies/toddlers with lesbian moms in attendance. All live within 1 mile of us. That’s gotta be good for us, right? (note to self: drink more tap water from home)
- Been approved as a client at sperm bank #2 and ordered the long profiles of our 3 top choice donors there. They should arrive tomorrow or Wednesday.
- Ordered and received the 2 most highly recommended lesbian conception and pregnancy books. So highly recommended, in fact, that either a) no one was willing to part with them or b) has them anymore because they gave them to someone else already. We tried to get them at our local gay bookstore, which didn’t have them. So I ordered them online. Now we just have to read them.
I made the cake for the shower and I am very pleased with how it turned out. Let’s hope that a year from now someone is making one for us!
Just arrived home after our first visit to the fertility clinic. It went very smoothly. Nutella and I were seated in the doc’s office to chat about things. The doc asked us what we’ve been doing so far, which we answered by producing Nutella’s latest fertilityfriend.com chart (which the doc was impressed by!), and talking about our first month’s OPK’s, choosing donors, and Nutella’s brief medical history. The doc did not express any reservations about moving forward with this process, which means we will be doing our first insemination the second week in June (a convenient time for Nutella & I). Then Nutella was subjected to a quick cervical culture just to screen out any infections while I sat in the room trying to figure out where to look/not look. lol.
A few things we found out during this visit:
- If we choose CMV negative donors who are negative for genetic disorders and have a positive blood type like Nutella, we do not have to get any further tests. Nutella will have to be tested if this is otherwise, so hopefully we can find a donor who fits this criteria…only 1 of the 5 we’ve already chosen does not fit it.
- It is easier for us to get pre-washed sperm because if not, it costs more money and more time (about 2 hours) to get this done in the doc’s office.
- Not that this was surprising, but this stuff is expensive, and now we know just how much. If you would like to know, please leave a comment, and we can e-mail you directly with the costs.
- Parking costs $10 (yuk!) Alright, that’s not related to the fertility stuff, but it would’ve been nice to know that. Thankfully, when we said we had no cash on us, the nice receptionists gave us a get-out-of-parking-lot-free card 🙂
Once Nutella introduced me while chatting with the doc, I felt very included and comfortable. I was personally very happy with the visit.
Finally, we thought it ironic to mention that as we were leaving, the whole place smelled like fish because someone had just heated up their lunch. Just sayin’.
We have two main sperm banks from which we are interested in donors. They are priced about the same and both located hundreds of miles from us. One lets the client buy sperm for either home inseminations or inseminations at the doctor’s office. They require a lot of paperwork, so we have to get that done and sent in before we can begin ordering long donor profiles or anything else. The other place will only send sperm to your doctor’s office, and doesn’t require much paperwork….none just to order long donor profiles.
So I called the latter on my lunch break today and ordered two long profiles and they were almost immediately sent to my e-mail (yay instant gratification!). One profile came with the cutest toddler picture…a smiling chubby little boy with the brightest red hair ever. Unfortunately, we didn’t like his profile as much as the other donor’s profile which, also unfortunately, did not come with a picture. But not having a picture is not a deal-breaker, and we’d rather go with a donor that fits my background more similarly and has a healthier style of living.
We have 3 long profiles to see from the other place, and then we can start ranking and choosing. I have to say, this may be the most fun part of the process in my eyes. lol. As a girl who majored in Psychology in college, I find this stuff absolutely fascinating!
My previous post has brought up some really important issues. Here are our feelings on a few of them:
We have an appointment with an RE that we have heard very good things about from many lesbians. We are hoping that the same-sex parents thing won’t be an issue. We have chosen to go to an RE straight off because we want the greatest likelihood of success as soon as possible. The extra money it will cost us out of pocket for an IUI will be worth it to us if we get pregnant in fewer tries. I can certainly understand that some people prefer to do it otherwise, and if we had a known donor I would absolutely try at home first. We have 2 pairs of close friends that got pregnant at home using fresh known donor sperm. And they did it in 1 and 2 tries respectively. I can only hope it will be that easy for us!
There are a few major reasons that we have not pursued using a known donor. The first is perhaps a bit selfish. Strawberry has a rather defining physical characteristic- her red hair. Since I am the one carrying the baby, I really, really have my heart set on having a donor that shares this trait. Even if we get it, there’s only a 1 in 4 chance that I would have a baby that shares this trait. But I still want to try. Silly, I know. What does hair color matter in the long run?
The other reason is the amount of legal work that would need to be done to assure Strawberry’s status as a 100% equal parent and for any donor to give up his parental rights. It’s something that makes us very nervous. We are not interested in having a donor that would be part of our parenting. It would also be quite expensive. With frozen swimmers, half of this process is already taken care of and all we will have to worry about is the 2nd parent adoption.
Insurance coverage is a whole different issue. My general coverage is quite good and with medical billing and coding there are multiple ways to code the same procedure. For example, any blood tests that are ordered by the Dr. will most likely be covered as would any non-injectible prescription drugs. However, the actual IUI will not be covered. Frozen swimmers are not covered, nor is storage or shipping. At this point, I have no idea if the consultation appointment will be covered. We have set aside some money for this process, but since we really don’t know how much each try is going to cost we don’t yet know how many tries we will be able to make. And that uncertainty really scares me.
Yesterday I made an initial consultation appointment with a local reproductive endocrinologist (RE) at a fertility clinic. Appointment is for Monday, April 7th. They do accept my insurance, but I have no idea what, if anything, will be covered. My explanation of benefits very explicitly states that all Artificial Insemination costs are not covered. Anyone out there have any idea how much an unmedicated IUI (intrauterine insemination) will cost out of pocket?