My previous post has brought up some really important issues. Here are our feelings on a few of them:
We have an appointment with an RE that we have heard very good things about from many lesbians. We are hoping that the same-sex parents thing won’t be an issue. We have chosen to go to an RE straight off because we want the greatest likelihood of success as soon as possible. The extra money it will cost us out of pocket for an IUI will be worth it to us if we get pregnant in fewer tries. I can certainly understand that some people prefer to do it otherwise, and if we had a known donor I would absolutely try at home first. We have 2 pairs of close friends that got pregnant at home using fresh known donor sperm. And they did it in 1 and 2 tries respectively. I can only hope it will be that easy for us!
There are a few major reasons that we have not pursued using a known donor. The first is perhaps a bit selfish. Strawberry has a rather defining physical characteristic- her red hair. Since I am the one carrying the baby, I really, really have my heart set on having a donor that shares this trait. Even if we get it, there’s only a 1 in 4 chance that I would have a baby that shares this trait. But I still want to try. Silly, I know. What does hair color matter in the long run?
The other reason is the amount of legal work that would need to be done to assure Strawberry’s status as a 100% equal parent and for any donor to give up his parental rights. It’s something that makes us very nervous. We are not interested in having a donor that would be part of our parenting. It would also be quite expensive. With frozen swimmers, half of this process is already taken care of and all we will have to worry about is the 2nd parent adoption.
Insurance coverage is a whole different issue. My general coverage is quite good and with medical billing and coding there are multiple ways to code the same procedure. For example, any blood tests that are ordered by the Dr. will most likely be covered as would any non-injectible prescription drugs. However, the actual IUI will not be covered. Frozen swimmers are not covered, nor is storage or shipping. At this point, I have no idea if the consultation appointment will be covered. We have set aside some money for this process, but since we really don’t know how much each try is going to cost we don’t yet know how many tries we will be able to make. And that uncertainty really scares me.