It’s no secret that I’m needle phobic. I’m 1000% better than I used to be. I can psyche myself up for shots and behave reasonably well. I’ve developed coping techniques (visualization, meditation, deep breathing, chocolate) over the years. This is far less effective with blood draws and IV’s. Along this line, I cannot watch anything involving needles without feeling like I’m going to faint. I do not watch the actual shot when Curly gets one. I was hospitalized for the first 10 days of my life with who knows how many needle sticks in that stay, so I think there’s a fairly clear-cut cause for my phobia. It’s completely illogical to assume that Curly will share it.
And yet.. since his MMR vaccine on Tuesday, Curly has developed a new and unwelcome habit. In the dead of night, without any provocation or disturbance, he screams at the top of his lungs and burst into tears. He is easily soothed with a quick cuddle and when placed back in the crib he falls asleep again. Since he’s calmed easily we can rule out night terrors. It would seem that it’s either a nightmare or something physical. The injection site is not swollen or red, it doesn’t bother him during the day, he’s not feverish, and he doesn’t seem to be teething at the moment.
I’d certainly be happier with him NOT waking up crying in the middle of the night. Ooh, boy does this confluence of events trigger some bad mommy/ mama bear instincts. I want to protect him and keep him safe. To me, shots and blood draws and the like are irrationally horrible. He’s due for 2 more shots in 6 weeks and we are supposed to get a blood draw for a lead test anytime now. And I am FREAKING OUT about it.